El paciente./ The patient.

Después de darse cuenta que estaba borracho, José decidió irse manejando hasta su casa. El vehículo se movía en zigzag en el medio de la calle mientras los otros conductores evitaban colisionar con su Malibú color tornasol año 1978. De repente le entraron las ganas de orinar y decidió estacionarse al frente del hospital del pueblo para buscar un baño. Mientras los encargados de seguridad estaban entretenidos por un nuevo ingreso en ambulancia, José se escabulló entre los presente y violó la seguridad del lugar. José caminaba con dificultad y se sostenía con las paredes para no caer al suelo mientras el hipo no se detenía. Justo antes de entrar al baño una enfermera le sostiene el brazo y grita, ayúdenle a caminar, creo que tiene una dislocación. Se acerca a él y le pregunta, ¿cuáles son sus síntomas?, ¿se siente bien?, y él le murmurea, tengo ganas de orinar. La enfermera entró en pánico, tal como lo había estudiado todo el parte médico, el virus se propagaba por el orina. Se lo llevó a la sala de emergencias mientras José asombrado no se atrevió a mencionar palabra. Se notaba desorientado y mareado, tiene que quedarse internado, afirmó el doctor más experimentado. Después de unas horas de observación lo llevaron a la habitación, le tomaron más muestras de sangre, exámenes eran ordenados sin cesar mientras la borrachera se le cortaba del asombro. Tres días después, los doctores se reúnen y le dan el resultado final a todos los exámenes, los médicos estaban muy complacidos, todos los resultados eran negativos y se había descartado lo peor. Por fin se podía dar de alta al enfermo, tranquilo José, vivirá muchos años más, le dijeron. Atónito por su suerte y avergonzado por sus actos decidió darles las gracias a todos por ser tan amable con él. Muchas gracias dijo, pero yo solo quería mear. 

After he realised he was drunk, Jose decided to leave the bar and get back home driving. His car moved in zigzags from one side of the street to the other while other drivers tried to avoid colliding with his colorful Malibu year 1978. Suddenly he realised he needed to find a place where to urinate and decided to park his car in front of the old hospital. As an ambulance was delivering a patient by the time and the security staff was busy helping with this issue, he managed to break into the premises. After getting into the building he walked through the ER as he lied against the wall hiccupping unstoppably. A nurse came running on his help to evaluate his condition. I think he has a dislocation she yelled, are you ok?, the staff girl asked. I just need to for number one, Jose murmured. Following these words the nurse panicked as the medical team had already established that the latest virus was contagious and transmitted mainly through the urine. She took him back to the room as a surprised Jose decided not to mention a word. Since he looked disoriented and dizzy, a senior gp recommended he stayed for further examination. After a couple of hours in observation, he was transferred to a room for additional blood testing meanwhile his drunkenness abruptly stopped. After three more days of this, all doctors involved were very pleased with the final results, all negatives, avoiding the worst case scenario, fortunately. He finally could go back home, congratulations Jose, you shall live many more years, someone added. Static for his luck and ashamed for his actions he decided to thank all for being so kind to him. Thanks he said, but I just wanted to take a piss.

Two dates. (Published in spanish on 12/11/2012).

The first night she was already in the bar by the time I arrived. She was wearing blue jeans that reached below her belly bottom, and a white short sleeves shirt doted in black. And of course, her beautiful smile that shined in the place. I was wearing a blue jean, a black t-shirt and a brown leather jacket, ideal for the occasion. I surprised her during my entrance as she was looking to the opposite direction. Our greeting was spontaneous and we talked for a minute or two before the stand-up comedy night with the best comedians of the region started. I was drinking black beer while she drunk soft drinks. At two at night, the bar announced the last drink just ten minutes before its closure. We said goodbye to each other almost at the doors, too fast, too soon for my ambitious but at least sincere. The second and last date was even shorter; something talked me that it was the last time I saw here. The loud music did not allow us to hear each other too well. The place was crowded of happy people looking for a night full of fun. She was with a friend and her friend´s boyfriend while I recognised a couple of faces in the bar. The night had a nice atmosphere, an intense vibe but again too short for my ambitious. However, thrilling from the beginning to the end, this time, the real end.

El Túnel./ The tunnel.

Los primeros cincuenta metros eran los más difíciles. Eran un poco resbalosas las escaleras por la humedad que reinaba en el descenso. Los pasamanos permitían un caminar más seguro mientras las luces de emergencia eran encendidas una a una para permitir el alumbrado del tramo que conduciría al estacionamiento. En la parte recta del trayecto se encontraban las otras puertas que contaban con los mismo privilegios, para escapar de los más miserables que solo les interesaba el dinero de los locales. Al final se encontraban los autos último modelo esperando ser encendidos por sus celosos dueños. El color predilecto era el color rojo, los motores eran encendidos y sus rugidos alegraban la fibra de todos los presentes. El encendido de las luces terminaba de alumbrar los últimos veinte metros del trayecto, los más importantes que permitirían encontrarse con la luz del día. Esa misma luz que alumbraba a todos, todo lo contrario a las sombras, que ocultaban a todas horas el camino de la entrada y de la salida. 

The first fifty meters were the most difficult of the downhill stairs. The steps were slightly slippery due to the humidity through the descent. The handrails allowed an easier and a better grab while the emergency lights were turned on one by one as he passed through. In the same walking path other doors with the same privilege could be found. All doors led to the same destination. The car parking at the back, that gave freedom to the members to escape from the hideous junky locals without being seen. All cars in the car park were brand new, being the red color the most popular. The sound of the engines excited everybody in the place specially to their proud owners. After turning on the high beam lights, all cars slowly departed one by one. From the last twenty meters of the exit door, it could be seen the outside day light. The same day light that shined up above all. Opposite to the shadows, that hided the entrance and exit way at all times.